#trust me that masked is not having a good time
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The Threads of Something More
Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader
Warnings: Fluff, minor language
Author's Note: Here's Part 2 of the First Date fanfic! I hope you enjoy!
Masterlist
MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+
Simonâs flat was simpleâneat, but with signs of life scattered around. A worn leather couch, some framed photos on a shelf, and the faint scent of his cologne lingering in the air. It felt⌠personal. More than you expected. There were small touchesâhis favorite books stacked near the armchair, a half-finished puzzle on the dining table, and a cozy blanket draped over the back of the couch. It was a glimpse into the man behind the mask.
He set the takeout on the coffee table, glancing at you as you eased onto the couch. âHope youâre good with Chinese,â he said, pulling off his jacket and tossing it over the back of a chair.
âPerfect,â you smiled, watching as he moved around his spaceâcomfortable, yet clearly aware of you. There was something endearing about the way he nervously adjusted a pillow before sitting down.
Simon settled next to you, the food between you both, but his focus wasnât on the meal. It was on the way you tucked your legs under you, the soft smile that graced your face, and how this all felt strangely⌠right.
You ate together, laughing about the disaster the fancy restaurant had been when you originally went there for your second date and sharing little bits about yourselves. Simon found himself talking more than usualâtelling you about the time Johnny had convinced him to go skydiving on leave, or how he preferred old vinyl records to streaming music. His eyes sparkled when he talked about music, his passion slipping through the cracks of his usual stoicism.
âSkydiving? You? I canât picture it,â you giggled, covering your mouth.
He chuckled, a deep, rare sound. âDidnât say I enjoyed it. Johnny practically pushed me out of the plane from how much I refused to go.â
âYouâre a soldier though! Isnât that your whole thing?â You question, stifling a laugh while grabbing another bite of your food.
âI am but I refused to jump from that shaky ass plane Johnny signed us to go in. Was bloody worried it might break down from jusâ me sitting in the damn seat!â He said and a smile grew on his face when he heard the beginning of your laugh which caused him to laugh with you. As you both laughed, the warmth between you continued growing with each passing moment where the tension between you both was on the brink of exploding like a firework.
The movie played in the background, but neither of you paid much attention. Instead, Simon found his arm resting on the back of the couch, fingers brushing against your shoulder. It was subtle, but you leaned into it, your head eventually resting against his chest. His heartbeat was steady, strong, and comforting.
âComfortable?â he asked, voice soft against the hum of the TV.
You tilted your head up to meet his eyes, heart racing. âVery.â
Simon hesitated, then let his hand trace gentle circles on your arm. It was the most vulnerable heâd been in a long time. Having you there, trusting him enough to be this close, felt heavier than he thought it would.
âDidnât think Iâd be here,â he murmured.
You blinked up at him. âHere⌠with me?â
He nodded. âYeah. Iâve spent so long keeping people out⌠didnât think Iâd want something like this.â
You reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers. âIâm glad you do. Iâm glad you let me in.â
Simon let out a breath, one he hadnât realized he was holding. He leaned down, brushing his lips against your forehead. It was softâtentativeâbut filled with something deeper. You felt the weight of it, the unspoken emotions wrapped in that simple gesture.
âSimon,â you whispered, your fingers tracing patterns over the back of his hand. âI feel safe with you.â
His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. âYou donât know how much that means to me.â
ââ
Weeks passed after that night. Dates became regularâsometimes out, sometimes just the two of you at his place or yours. Simon grew more comfortable, letting you see pieces of him he usually kept locked away. You learned how he liked his tea, the way he meticulously organized his gear, and how he secretly loved old classic films.
On a late afternoon, he took you to his favorite spot by the docks. The sun was setting, casting a warm glow over the water. The waves lapped gently against the wooden posts, the salty breeze tangling in your hair.
âThis is where I come to think,â he said, hands in his pockets, his eyes on the horizon.
You smiled, standing beside him. âItâs peaceful.â
He turned, his eyes meeting yours with an intensity that made your breath hitch. âI want this to work,â he admitted, voice low and vulnerable. âWith you.â
Your heart swelled, warmth spreading through your chest. âIt already is, Simon. You donât have to be perfect. You just have to be you.â
For the first time, he let down the last bit of his guard, pulling you into a deep, lingering kissâthe kind that said everything words couldnât. His hands cupped your face gently, thumbs brushing your cheeks as if you were the most fragile thing heâd ever held.
When you pulled away, breathless, his forehead rested against yours. âYou make me feel⌠whole,â he murmured.
Tears pricked at your eyes, but you smiled through them. âAnd you make me feel loved.â
The sun dipped below the horizon, but neither of you noticed. In that moment, the world faded away, leaving only the two of youâhearts laid bare and beating in sync.
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Hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking and reposting! -Midnightđ
#x reader#141 x reader#tf 141#task force 141#tf 141 x reader#cod 141#mw2 141#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost x reader#task force 141 fanfic#141#tf 141 x you#simon ghost x you#simon riley x y/n#simon riley cod#simon riley#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#ghost#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader
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Let's say that the yandere were quiet out there until he hears reader child khaenri'ah will get to say for the first time dad/grandfather/brother/uncle, but in the end it turns out that he says it to other people and not to them xD hahaha.
Jealous? Would they kill the poor person?
Not Yours
Synopsis: You had meant no harm.But to themâ To them, it was a betrayal. A mistake that would never, ever, happen again. Pairings: Yandere Dainsleif, Pierro, Kaeya, Albedo, and Capitano x Khaenri'ahn Child
Dainsleif â "That Should Have Been Me."
"...So that's how it is, then?"
Dainsleif had never forced you to call him anything.
He simply waited.
After all, who else had been there for you? Who had cleaned your wounds, kept you safe, taught you the truth about Khaenriâah?
It was only natural that when you finally spoke that word, it would be for him.
But then, you said âFatherââ
To someone else.
The smile on their face. The way they ruffled your hair. The way you laughed so freelyâ
Something inside Dainsleif curdled.
"Careful who you trust, little one." His voice was steady, his expression unreadable. "Not everyone deserves your kindness."
Not like he did.
And as for the fool who had taken what was his?
Well.
They wouldnât live long enough to hear you say it again.
Pierro â "You Will Learn."
"Hmph. A foolish mistake."
Pierro had already claimed you as his own.
Did you not see it? The warmth he gave you, the resources he provided, the way he nurtured your potential?
It didnât matter that he had never demanded a title from you.
He had earned it.
But Grandfather?
You called some old, irrelevant fool your Grandfather?
Pierro did not react outwardly. He did not rage. Did not kill.
Not yet.
"You are still young. NaĂŻve." He ruffled your hair with a hand that felt heavier than it should. "You will learn soon enough who truly deserves your respect."
And the one who had stolen what was rightfully his?
They would be erased.
Kaeya â "I Thought We Were Closer Than That?"
"Oh? I see how it is."
Kaeya had never been the jealous type.
Or at least, he told himself that.
But when you smiled so happilyâwhen you called someone else your Brotherâ
Something inside him twisted.
He had thought⌠no, he had been sure it would be him.
Hadnât he been the one to tease you? To make you laugh? To keep you safe?
And yet, you had chosen someone else.
"That kind of hurts, you know?" His voice was still sweet, but the grip on your shoulder was a little too firm.
"Tell me, [Name]... are you sure you picked the right brother?"
He would make sure you never doubted again.
And as for the imposter?
Kaeya was good at making things disappear.
Albedo â "You Were Incorrect."
"That was⌠a miscalculation."
Albedo had calculated this moment.
He had studied you, understood you, predicted when you would finally call him Brother.
And yet.
You said it to someone else.
At first, he merely stared. Processing. Reevaluating.
Then, something in him faltered.
"How⌠peculiar." His voice was quiet. Calm. Too calm.
"It seems I have made an error in judgment."
No. No, it wasnât his mistake.
It was theirs.
Because someone had interfered. Someone had manipulated you. Misguided you.
That was the only explanation.
And so, he would simply⌠remove the problem.
Capitano â "Unacceptable."
"âŚYou will not say that again."
Capitano had never been a man of soft words.
He had protected you. Kept you strong. Taught you discipline.
And in return, he had expected only one thing.
Loyalty.
But when you called another man âFatherââ
No.
No.
"That is incorrect." His voice was firm. Absolute.
"You belong to me."
"Say it againâ" His gloved fingers tilted your chin upward. His mask reflected your uncertain expression. "Say it, properly this time."
Because you were his child.
And there would be no other.
As for the man who had stolen your first word?
Their body would never be found.
#shizuwrites#writers on tumblr#fyppage#fypăˇ#fyp#yandere#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin impact headcanons#genshin yandere#yandere genshin impact#dainslief#dainsleif#genshin pierro#pierro genshin impact#yandere pierro#yandere kaeya#kaeya x reader#kaeya alberich#genshin kaeya#genshin impact kaeya#genshin albedo#albedo#genshin#yandere capitano x reader#genshin impact capitano#genshin capitano#capitano#il capitano#fatui harbingers
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POST GRIFFITH TORTURE RENASSIANCE!!! i keep staring at your art of griffith's broken stare with the bandages wrapped across his face and his emaciated little corpse beside guts...
I read this ao3 fic about his struggle with recovery in an aftermath where he doesn't go apeshit. *offers it to you gently* https://archiveofourown.org/works/609721
it made me think, as a certified griffith expert, what do you think his recovery may have looked like? could anything possibly have still made him happy after all of that... or at least minorly not-miserable? what kinds of things do you think he'd enjoy in such a state?
would he even try to grow out his hair?
The Renaissance that really constricts our hearts!! I remember when first learning Berserk, it was the transformation Griffith has after the torture that got its hooks into me and compelled me to read the series. The rest is history. Thank you so much btw! I've only drawn him a few times but it feels like more in my heart. Thank you for sending that fic my way! (I'm super into gen fic and that is a good one) *Certified Griffith Expert* AHH! That's sweet! I'd like a badge or something after this long LOL. First off, this ask has given me SUCH AN ITCH to pick 'Iron Hawk' back up (my fan project about Griffith being rescued from the Tower early and the aftermath of that. It's my baby) I'm thinking about maybe using a different, more sustainable format by writing multi-chapter fanfiction with accompanying illustrations. But I assume you mean a scenario about his recovery after the canon full year of torture. Interesting. I actually haven't put a ton of thought into that because, morbidly, I have a hard time imagining any outcome after that amount of trauma where he isn't doomed. So assuming this is a world in which he is able to make some progress in his recovery that allows him to regain some mobility and use of his hands, I could see a return of the bandit era. I could see Judeau with his ingenuity and the help of other Hawks working together to fashion him a kind of wheelchair. A Merlin chair wouldn't fit with the time period but you get the idea! Maybe he eventually uses a cane and back brace. He grows his hair out but it never comes back as thick or as long. He shows his face again but rotates a collection of partial porcelain masks to cover the worst of his scars. If his hands heal enough, he learns sign language, writes with the tip of his finger in people's palms and writes with a large pen or quill. (edit: I've recently been totally swayed by your post about him relearning to speak and whispering to his trusted inner circle. I'm SOLD) I think his band would continue to whittle down until only the most loyal remained. The core members who would inevitably transform back into his friends. He used to protect himself from 'friends' with compartmentalization when they were among the thousands of Hawks under his command. I think that Griffith's life during recovery would be hell but he could find happiness in his inner circle reducing to a small group. Like when he was a kid. I think with the deterioration of his body, it could be possible that his mind goes into overdrive. The frail, mute, mysterious general who is even more of a political/military genius. No more White Hawk. He is just 'Griffith' or 'General' or 'The prisoner'. After enough banditry and roaming, the group reclaims a comfortable position in a land away from political enemies. Griffith gives up on his dream and focuses on fulfilling the promise of his vision to just these few people. He is even able to preform Robin Hood-like feats in the countryside. Outlaw goodness, that sort of thing. He doesn't retire himself though. I have a dark outlook. I think he probably satisfies himself with this twilight campaign, sees his remaining friends in positions of security and wealth and when all is said and done he eventually claims his own life. I think Guts is the last one with him when he is finally finished.
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high sex drive | poly! marauders x fem! reader
hurt/comfort + smut
TW: NSFW, piv, non-protected sex, oral (f/m receiving)
Sirius was drawing patterns on your thigh, the tips of his fingers grazing the supple skin there ever so slowly while his head rested on your belly. Your other two boyfriends were cuddling each other, they were all spent after coming many times, so why werenât you?
You found every touch maddening, it didnât make sense for you to be so wound up; it wasnât like you hadnât gotten off, because you had, and plenty of times.
The problem was your sex drive. Your desire wasnât something that your ex boyfriends accepted, nor did they deem it normal, one of them even suggested to go see a sex therapist one time, and you did. The session failed to give you answers, and after some time you just gave up, resigning yourself to a life of not voicing your own needs.
It went good, as good as faking being satisfied would go, but it wasnât that bad after all. With these guys, though, it was really difficult to just pretend.
âLove?â
You looked up, finding three pairs of eyes focused on you. âMh?â
âWhere did you go, dove? Youâve been awfully quiet. Sirius just asked you if you are hungry, we thought about ordering something, is pizza good?â
You refrained from blushing, hating the fact that you werenât able to mask your true feelings even in a peaceful moment like that. âSorry, Iâve just been lost in my own thoughts, I guessâ You chuckled, sounding suspicious even to your own ears. âPizzaâs good, thank youâ
You felt Sirius mouth closing over your inner thighs, its teeth piercing the supple skin there, making you gasp. âCome on, darling, you know you can tell us anythingâ
The thing was that every boyfriend you had started this conversation like this, telling you that it was okay, that he would have taken care of you, and then when they found out that they couldnât change you, theyâd start to call you a nympho, making you ashamed of yourself. So no, you werenât sure you could tell them anything.
âYouâre doing it again, loveâ James was looking at you through pleading eyes, it was really hard to resist him when he was acting like this, but you had to. The guys were the best thing that happened to you in a long time, and you werenât willingly letting them go for something as stupid as your sex drive.
âOh, uhâ You blushed. âI think Iâm just kind of tired, you know? Nothing crazyâ
There was a moment of silence, then Remus spoke up. âThis thing wonât work if youâre keeping stuff from us, dove. You have to understand the importance of trust, if you donât want to talk about it now, fine, but at least tell us the main topic thatâs bothering you so much youâre not even listening to us when weâre talking to youâ
His words felt like a harsh slap to your cheek, bringing true tears to the surface, which you tried to fight against, to no avail.
âSorry, I donât want to bother you, I do trust you, itâs just-â
âWas sex too much? Were you unconfortable? Youâve been like this since we had sex, did we hurt you?â
Sirius sounded horrified, and you couldnât help the words that tumbled out of your mouth, you had to fix this.
âNo, no itâs quite the opposite actuallyâ They were all looking at you expectantly, you sighed. âItâs just- I have a high sex drive, okay? And I hate it, I know itâs twisted and disgusting and not right but I need to get off multiple times a day and sometimes having sex worsens the situation because then I keep wanting more and I hate it, you evet got me off so many times Iâm the worst girlfriend ever.â Now that the words were comung out of your mouth, you couldnât seem to stop them. âAnd Iâve been to sex therapists but they donât know how to turn this off and just- Iâm so sorry youâre probably regretting even-â
âDo not finish that sentence for the love of Godâ
You furrowed your brows. âSirius what-â
âNo, I should be the one saying sorry, Iâve been torturing you for the past hour and I didnât even notice it.â
âAnd youâre not disgustingâ James piped in.
âDove, itâs nothing crazy, we can just-â
âNo you canât fix it.â You couldnât stop the words from coming out of your mouth even if you tried, years of shame weighting you down. âEvery ex that I had told me that they could fix it but it just doesnât go away and I know itâs a burdenâ You pressed your hands to your face, hating this situation and hating yourself even more for letting it happen.
âDove, would you please let us finish?â You nodded, your hands firmly locked in place. âOkay, I was trying to say that you can tell us if youâre needy and weâll be really happy to help. Thereâs three of us, and if we arenât available, there are your toys, you know? I donât know what douchebags you dated, but this would never be a burden to usâ His eyes were pleading you to believe him, and you found yourself wanting to.
âI think itâs anything but a burden, darlingâ You blushed slightly at Sirius, who was now laying on his belly, his head hovering right above your centre. You squirmed unconfortably, he smirked at you. âIâm being mean, arenât I? Hovering just above you, so close yet so out of touchâ His lips were now grazing your earlobe, making you shiver head to toe, the movement of his hands on your inner thigh maddening. âSuch a pretty little thing, so flustered, what do you want now, love?â
You tried to tell him, but being vocal about your needs was something you werenât used to, especially after years of slut shaming in your past relationship. You tried to avoid his question, wriggling your hips. âYou know what I wantâ
He tsked. âNo, I donât. Do you want my mouth?â He lightly kissed you above your panties and shorts, making you grunt. âMh, interesting. Maybe itâs my fingers that you want?â He caressed your nipples over the thin fabric of your -Jamesâs- shirt. âMy cock?â
The moment was interrupted by a pornographic grunt, coming from a very flustered James. âFuck thatâs so hotâ He palmed his dick over his boxer briefs, making you blush.
âLook at him, darling, youâre making him needy. I think we should give him a show.â
You whimpered. âSirius, pleaseâ
âI can give you everything you want, love. Just ask meâ
You swallowed your pride. âI want your mouth, pleaseâ
He tutted. âWhere do you want it? Here?â He grazed your forehead, the slightest touch sending you ablaze with need.
âNo, Sirius, fuck, I want it on my pussy, please eat me out, Iâm begging youâ You couldnât recognize your own voice, it sounded breathy, restrained, too close to begging.
âGladly, darlingâ He pushed your shorts down, ripping the soft fabric of your panties in two. You didnât have time to complain, his mouth immediately landing right on your clit.
His tongue started massaging the little bud, making you gasp as he flicked it repeatedly, moaning while doing so.
âYouâre so wet, darling, Iâm kind of mad, you know? You were really trying to keep this from me, from usâ You shivered as you felt his index finger teasing your hole slowly, making you arch your back.
As he entered you, Remus was right above you, his dick in his hand, stroking your cheek with his free one. âOpen up, dove, make me feel goodâ
He didnât have to ask twice, your mouth opening right as Sirius thrusted into you with his fingers. âFuck, sheâs so wet James, fuck the show come hereâ
Suddenly, all three of your boyfriends were on you, James lining the crown of his cock at your entrance as Sirius lips closed right on your clit, sucking on it hardly. You felt one of Remusâs hands right over your right nipples, pinching it slightly, making you arch your back.
Your head was spinning, you felt awfully close to orgasming. âFuck, love if you squeeze me like that I wonât lastâ
âThatâs fineâ Sirius piped in. âThatâs why thereâs three of us, to keep her satisfiedâ He tutted as you tried to close your thighs. âThat isnât nice now love, is it? Keep them open for us, stay stillâ
You loved when he was mean during sex, loved how he made you feel like you were at his mercy. âSirius, close, godâ
He chuckled. âYouâre already coming, arenât you? Youâve been such a good girl, telling us what you need, I think you deserve to comeâ You felt Remusâs cock swelling in your mouth, you rushed to swallow every drop of him, trying to focus on it, but it was difficult when you had two of the hottest guys youâve ever seen between your thighs.
âCome now, darling. Be a good girl and come for usâ
It was all it took for you to explode, your mouth wide open, eyes shut as you gripped Sirius head with all your force. He wasnât complaining, though, still lapping at you, while James got off inside of you, his thrust loosing force and rhythm.
Just as you were coming down from your high, you felt another cock probing at your entrance.
âWhatâŚâ
âHush, love, I think you got one more in you, donât you?â
You werenât able to respond, your long-haired boyfriend immediately started rutting into you, his hips hitting the back of your thighs at a punishing rhythm.
âYouâre so hot, fuckâ The sounded that came out of you were pornographic, you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, you could already tell that this orgasm was going to shake you thoroughly.
All you could manage to do, to say, was chant your boyfriendsâ name like a prayer.
âCome on now, dove, give us anotherâ Remus leaned down to kiss you, his tongue caressing yours, you couldnât help but moan in his open mouth.
You obliged, drenching Siriusâs cock as your brain completely shut down. You could feel your boyfriend coming inside of you, but you just couldnât bring yourself down to Earth.
You found yourself in a hot tub, James massaging your shoulders behind you while Remus stood kneeling outside of it, rubbing your feet.
âHow do you feel? Good?â
You hummed, looking up at your long-haired boyfriend, your hand reaching up caress his face.
âReally, love? Me and Remus are both cuddling you, and itâs him you reward?â Jamesâs tone had no bite in it, still you reached your other hand behind his head, scratching his scalp.
âHey, itâs me who ate her out, itâs only fair, reallyâ He winked at you.
There was a bit of silence, then you felt Remus hands wondering up your thighs.
âWhat-â
He smiled at you. âI think I can get another one out of you, just relax against Jamie and let me do the workâ
You moaned lightly, nuzzling against your boyfriendâs toned chest, wondering what youâve done to deserve them.
#poly!marauders fic#poly! marauders smut#poly! marauders x reader#poly!marauders smut#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders x reader#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin x you#remus lupin fiction#remus lupin x y/n#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#sirius black x fem! reader#sirius black x y/n#sirius black x reader#sirius black smut#sirius black eating you out#smut#poly! marauders x y/n#marauders#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin
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Heâs a Skateboard Legend, Trust
How did Joel get here? Pride. But it was fine, he knew what he was doing.
Joel bets Etho he can fit in with the skateboarders. It goes about as well as you expect.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/63372760
My second work for the @mcyt-soulmate-sweepstakes !! Enjoy!
fic under the cut:
How did Joel get here?
Pride. But it was fine, he knew what he was doing.
Not about skateboarding mind you, no, he hadn't the faintest clue about how to do that. He wasn't even properly good at balancing on the board.
But it couldn't be that hard, right? He bet money on it, and there was no way he was going to let Etho win.
He was sitting off to the side, when Etho, frustratingly, said "hey, Joel, why don't you show us your skills?"
Joel waved him off, like he'd been doing all night to any skaters who'd invited him to actually skate. "I'm just taking a drink, I will in a minute."
You see, the deal wasn't to prove he was an excellent skateboarder, but instead not to be caught out as a fake for the entire night. However, Etho wasn't going to make that easy for him.
"Ok, I'll wait for you then."
Joel could hear the smile in his voice as he said it. He had made sure to say it loudly enough so that the others heard, so it wasn't like Joel could get out of it without blowing his cover.
Fine, if he was going to be that way, so be it.
Joel took a long sip of his water, buying time to calm his nerves.
He then screwed the cap shut and walked over to the bowl with confidence.
Joel could tell by the way Etho looked at him that he was smirking at him under his mask. "Why don't we have a little challenge, see who skates better?"
"Sure," Joel said, way too confident for a man who just threw out his excuse of he wasn't trying.
"Perfect," Etho replied. Joel then watched as he dropped down into the bowl, flew up the other side, and did some kind of kickflip or something in the air before seamlessly rolling back down and across to where Joel and the others were standing.
He neatly hopped back up and landed on his feet. "Top that."
Joel could tell by the crowd's reaction that he hadn't done something insanely impressive, something only Joel knew was to make a bigger fool out of him.
He simply smiled lazily at him, and put his board on the ground. He stepped up onto it, managing not to lose his balance as he got himself into position.
Joel took a deep breath, and pushed off.
He fell off as soon as the first wheel went over the edge. He shot his arms out in a last ditch effort to save this, but it was no good.
He hit head head on the lip of the bowl, and scraped his hands as he tumbled down to the bottom.
"Joel!"
Etho was quickly at his side as he sat up, somewhat dazed.
"Are you ok?" He asked, all his competitiveness gone.
Joel gave him a shaky thumbs up. "That's what the helmet's for, right?"
Etho was incredulous. "You weren't meant to actually try it!"
Joel giggled. "You thought I was going to give up that easily?"
"Well, kind of, yeah."
Joel laughed even harder at that. "Well you thought wrong."
Etho rolled his eyes and helped Joel to his feet. He then grabbed his board and guided Joel out of the bowl.
"Woah, what happened? Are you ok?" One of the bystanders asked once they were on flat ground.
"Fine," Joel said. He doubted anyone was going to believe that he was a pro now.
"I think he has a dodgy wheel," Etho said matter-of-factly.
Joel's eyes went wide. Once Etho had helped him over to a bench off to the side, Joel hissed "what was that?!"
"What was what?" Etho asked innocently.
"You just saved my ass from being found out!" He told him, "why?!"
Etho shrugged. "I figured you were way too desperate for five bucks to let your sacrifice go to waste."
"I wasn't desperate," Joel insisted, but Etho shook his head.
"You tried a bowl trick when you have the grace of an elephant."
"Hey, I did pretty alright for the first second!"
Etho laughed. "Yeah right."
Joel shoved him. "You're the one who challenged me!"
"Yeah, that was my bad."
"Yes, it was."
A comfortable silence fell between the two, as they watched the others go about their boards.
Despite absolutely eating cement, Joel had fun.
Maybe he should make bets with Etho more often.
#fireâs stuff#fanfiction#life series#trafficblr#traffic series#hermitcraft#hermitblr#joel smallishbeans#ethoslab
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Out Cold (Albert Wesker x Reader)
Main Master List || Misc Master List
Warnings: 18+, canon gore/violence, medical jargon, vomit, guns, language
Word Count: 2k
Author's Note: Haven't written in a while and haven't written for Wesker but damn I had a good idea and I hope it does well! Based off the Walking Dead
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The room is freezing by the time you awoke struggling for air, a plastic tube blocking your airway as you pull it out, coughs wracking through your body as your throat burns. Sucking in gulps of air, you manage to gain back autonomy of your body as your heart rate calms down. As you calm down, your eyes trace around the room, dark and cold, as if no one has entered in some time. A vase containing flowers, wilted, rests on the bedside table with a knocked over note.
Piquing your interest, your hand reaches out for the note, bringing it closer for you to read in the dark light.
Get well soon. I miss you.
-Al
The note is short and terse, not like you expected any differently from your captain and lover. What you donât expect is that the room is dusty and the flowers wilted. Something Albert Wesker would have rectified the second he noticed it. Leaving you to one conclusion, he hasnât seen you in a while.
The thought of being abandoned by him causes your heart to sink in your chest, but with another look around the room itâs clear no one has been in here in a while. So what happened?
Last thing you remembered was being shot in the chest and falling to the ground while Chris shot the perp. The bullet proof vest did little to block the impact of the bullet as it ripped through you. From there, you can remember flashing lights, Wesker looking down at you with his eyebrows creased in a way that shows his worry, a mask going over your face, and then, nothing. How long has it been?
With a grunt, you manage to rip out the various IVs and catheters that have no use, leaving a mess in its wake. âI need a shower,â as you move to stand up, gravity wins and you fall down, barely breaking the fall with your arms. âShit.â
The shower is ice cold but it does the trick to get rid of the grime that had accumulated from weeks of bed rest. At least you assume itâs been weeks. Grabbing your bag of clothes from under the bed, a medium size case with a note topples out on top.
I do hope you get this before someone else does.
Trust me and take the medicine.
-Al
Just what is going on? Shaking the confusion from your head, you follow his directions and open the case, a vial and a syringe neatly placed inside with your glock and 3 mags of bullets.Â
Inject the green vial into your neck.
Itâs simple enough instructions and despite not knowing what it is that youâre injecting into your neck, your trust in Albert outweighs your curiosity of what it is. Inserting the needle into your neck, you shiver as you press the injector, nearly gagging at the feeling of the medicine entering your body. After a minute, a surge of nausea takes over you, causing you to empty the contents of your stomach, clear fluid pooling onto the floor.Â
Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, your eyes look at the syringe with doubt. âWhat the hell is that?â Struggling to stand up, a series of rounds of gunfire snaps your attention to the door. Youâre not alone. âShit.â It doesnât take you long to get dressed before youâre stepping out of the room, glock in one hand and a flashlight in another as you take in the view of the hallway. What was once sterile and clean was now filled with various debris and overturned furniture that accompanies a rotting scent that causes your stomach to do flips.Â
The empty halls echo various sounds, including the gunfire and snarls. Gripping your gun a little tighter you round the corner as the gunfire grows closer. Maybe whoever is in the building can help you understand exactly what is going on.Â
âFreeze! Donât move!â A masculine voice calls out from further down the hallway and you can barely make out the glint of his gun, pointed at you. Raising your hands in surrender, a bullet rips past your head and into something behind you where a thud follows. Whipping your head around, your eyes land on a woman, maybe a little older than yourself, but the horror of seeing someone just murdered in cold blood covers over the fact that the woman herself is rotting.
âWhat the fuck?â The man doesnât acknowledge you as he rushes past, placing two more bullets in the head of the woman. Satisfied with his work, he turns to you, gun pointed at you.Â
âAre you bit?â
âWhat?â
âHave you been bit? Are you infected?â Infected? Bit?
âWhat is going on? Infected with what?â His face softens as he lowers his gun, quickly gazing around the area for any more threats.Â
âThose things, theyâre not people. Theyâre not entirely alive.â Pausing for you to catch up, he sighs as you try to wrap it around your head. âTheyâre zombies. Where the hell have you been?â
âZombies.â Eyes flicker back down to the woman as you take in her appearance, skin practically molted off and eyes glazed over. Whoever she had been was not the person that now lays dead on the floor.
âSo, who are you?âÂ
Your eyes flick back up to him, taking in his appearance. The man before you canât be no older than 25 with a muscular build and shaggy hair that grazes his eyebrows. His arms are bare, showcasing some cuts that seem fresh while the rest of his body is covered in tactical gear. In one hand lies his gun and in another holds a briefcase. Heâs obviously here on a mission, what great luck that you have to find him. âLieutenant (Y/N) (Y/L/N), S.T.A.R.S,â at the mention of S.T.A.R.S, his eyes light up.Â
âOh boy, I found one of your members. I got to get this case back to her because sheâs sick and whatever is in here will help her.â You feel guilty that your heart sinks at the announcement that itâs one of your female companions and not your lover, but at least it narrows who he found down to two.Â
â-------
You and Carlos, whose name you found out, make it back to the room where they had holed up in record time, instantly running to Jillâs side. âJill, itâs (Y/N). Youâre going to be ok, Carlos is going to get you cured,â your hand runs over her hair in an attempt to soothe her though you know she probably canât feel it.Â
âAll right, here it goes,â Carlos injects the serum into Jill. âThis shit better work.â Nothing happens and your heart drops. Had you caused Carlos to be too late? Your thoughts are interrupted as a man bursts through the door, looking worse for wear as he clutches his side. âJesus Tyrell, what happened?â The man doesnât make a comment as he grabs the remote from the shelf, turning on the tv.
âAttention all citizens. The contagion spreading throughout the city has been designated uncontainable. On October 1, Raccoon City will be completely destroyed in a missile strike. All residents capable of rational thought are urged to leave immediately.â Your blood runs cold. Is this seriously how you are going to go out? A missile strike? Your attention turns back to Jill, pressing a cloth against her head to dry the sweat as the two men continue to talk to each other.Â
âCome on Jill, wake your ass up.â
âShit here they come,â Tyrell begins to sit up but Carlos pushes him back down.
âI got this,â his eyes land on you and Jill. âDo you got her covered?â
âYes, are you going to need help?â His hair moves with each shake of his head.
âNo, make sure she doesnât die,â he doesnât comment more on the matter before heâs out the door, pushing various blocks of furniture against the door as a barricade, trapping you, Tyrell and Jill.
â------
Minutes pass as you frantically look between Jill and the door that blocks you from the rapid gunfire and snarls that lay outside. Why did this have to happen to you? Have you really been in a coma for that long? Why didnât Albert come and get you?Â
Your questions go unanswered as Jill groans beside you, blue eyes blinking the haze away as she sits up, rubbing her eyes. âWhat happened?â
âJill?â Her head turns toward you in confusion as if she couldnât believe that youâre next to her.
â(Y/N)? Youâre alive?âÂ
She moves to sit up, grunting in pain while you aid her, a hand firm on her back as you sit next to her. âIn the flesh. I just woke up today.â Her eyes widen as if sheâs seen a ghost. In denial, she shakes her head, hair bobbing with each movement.
âNo, thatâs impossible. You were in a coma. How?â
âI donât know,â youâve been wondering that since you woke up. Judging by the date youâve been out for at least 3 months and judging from what Carlos had told you about the outbreak, the hospital has been deserted for two weeks. âWhat happened to the others?â Her face drops as she looks away, tears threatening to spill from her blue eyes.
âMost of them didnât make it. The ones that did, I donât know where they are.â Your heart drops. Albert is dead?
âWesker?â At the mention of your shared captain her face turns sour as if you had just given her a lemon.Â
âThat traitor.â
âWhat?â
âHeâs been working for Umbrella this whole time. Everyone has died because of him.â
Your heart hammers against your ribcage while your head spins. What does she mean that heâs responsible for peopleâs deaths? Albert would never. Sure he is a cold and calculating man, but the man that you love would never. âI donât believe you.â
She lets out a terse laugh that ridicules your stance. âOh believe it. He made the virus. He and Birkin make the virus that is killing all of those people. He paid for it though. That monster that he made, it killed him.â That doesnât make sense, you think to yourself, someone had been in your room and left you that case. The flowers too. If what Jill is saying is correct, then those flowers must have been several months old, not weeks.
Keeping your thoughts to yourself, you think back to the vial that you injected into yourself. How did Albert get the vial of medicine? Why was he asking you to trust him on it? What was in it? How did you not know that he was working for Umbrella?Â
âYouâre awake!â Carlosâs voice booms into the room disrupting your train of thought as he smiles widely. âHoly shit, it worked! Call the government. Tell them we got the cure.â He aids Jill off the bed while your mind continues to process everything. âCome on, we got to go.â
âI canât.â Your words halt Jill, Carlos and Tyrell as they look at you like youâve grown two heads. âI canât go with you.â
âThis whole city is about to be nuked if we donât get out of here,â Tyrell comments with labored breathing while Jill rushes to your side, looping her arm through yours.
âLook, whatever is holding you back is gone. We need to get out of here.â
âBu-â
âNo but, I just got you back, I am NOT going to lose you again,â she tugs you along through the doors while Carlos keeps on the lookout. Begrudgingly, you follow along, promising yourself that you will find Albert Wesker.
#albert wesker#albert wesker x reader#resident evil#resident evil 3#jill valentine#carlos oliveira#reader insert
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A good pop in bruiser can be fun. Ignore them. they're punching the wall. it's their thing.
Oh wow, Jasper and Steven on a road trip would be something. Steven at the first gas station outside of Beach City filling up the tank and Jasper rolls off the highway sound barrier and into a ditch and he's just like ??? need a ride ?? and she's just like instantly NO only to keep showing up after fighting like, bears or some shit while he's trying to get set up at a park your RV campground. Steven: you SURE you don't want a ride ?? Jasper: I AM NOT FOLLOWING YOU Steven: I never said- Jasper: if anything you are following ME. they are truly a great odd couple dynamic. Steven having to bail her out of a police station, are you ready for that ride now ?
Hahaha. Nolan having to learn to use cameras on Earth specifically just to spite Spider-man is fucking hilarious. Debbie like oh ?? are you interested in holding on to the memories of our time here?? and Nolan just having to be like : /
hehe. JJ instantly trusting Omni-Man bc of his mustache and Peter having to be like ??? you know nothing about this alien man! And his MUSTACHE makes you like him ?? what has friendly neighborhood spider-man done to draw this hate ??? JJ instantly stating the truth that Omni-Man DOESN'T wear a mask, and it's clearly the lack of mask not the mustache (it's like 90% the mustache).
Seriously what are the levels of villainy in Invincible ! where are the different understandings and tiers ! where is the explanation for why the GDA doesn't just work with everyone !! is it a budget thing ??? is the reason so many ppl showed up to the GoG tryouts bc they just needed the health insurance ?? apparently even well to do hero teams like TT were fucking starving and not doing well unless someone who was independently wealthy was bankrolling them ! (rudy/Robot) LIKE. arguably The Order is the evil mirror to GoG but we are literally JUST learning they exist at all! not to mention they seem more sinister six than Injustice League ?? unless I am very unaware of what Sinister group got up to, they def seem more low level than villain team specifically teaming up to fuck w heroes. They don't even seem to give a shit about heroes !! they just are after CRIME
Debbie meeting all the Order's exes in her villain support group xD she got passed up the chain from the 'my partner robs banks when we're broke' group to the 'trying to take over the planet nonsense' group. Debbie wondering if it's ethical that Mark is getting tips on how to beat villains from their PO'd exes who just know what buttons to push and her having to be like hmm if I knew someone willing to punch Nolan would I want them to do the most emotionally damage in the process as well ??? and just going along with it xD
Her and her new friends both instantly yelling at the guy trying to rob the coffee shop they came to meet up at rather than cowering w the rest of the patrons. like OH. maybe recklessly endangering myself bc I find most villainy mundane and annoying is a learned trait. Them just enjoying some time together before Debbie just going 'do you ever wonder if you could have stopped them, and do you ever feel a rush realizing you could have asked them to do something worse and they probably would have? just for you?' and just getting nods rather than disgust. ugh. Let her admit it was the personal injury that hurt more. let her be horrendously selfish that her good thing got screwed up by some stupid evil empire. She DOES believe in doing the 'right' thing ! in helping people ! but dear god, why should she be obligated to hold up such a higher standard of it?? most other peoples' work life balance doesn't also include 'keeping the guy who can single-handedly destroy the world from doing that'. forget about placating Nolan, placate Debbie. she deserves a chance to contemplate doing horrendous shit to humanity, as a treat < 3 Maybe if the GDA and GoG hadn't SUCKED so hard my husband wouldn't have betrayed you have you thought about that Cecil (instant regret but damn I think she likes to think about other people in his life also failing to notice what was under the surface and just wanting some of the blame on the dead and not just her)
Her and Mark just stewing in different brands of guilt.
Debbie knowing Cecil is watching so she walks STRAIGHT at a generally ignored low-level problem knowing he wont risk something happening to her bc Mark would be upset and having to send agents after something he normally would leave to the cops. stop wasting tax payer dollars Debbie : / that's my tax money Cecil : )
The core mystery of what the fuck is Nolan up to just built up and paid off so well in S1, and there really hasn't been a great through line in any of the other seasons ?? Stuff For Later keeps happening.. and not.. stuff that builds up to something important. Something cool will happen Later !! the show keeps insisting. something cool could be happening NOW.
While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom
OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what youâre talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolanâs? I suppose Iâm not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think thereâs something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecilâs number one internâonly internâcurtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT thereâs something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.
I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if theyâre more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Markâs life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Markâs already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so thereâs a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close theyâre supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he canât project onto Mark.
I love thinking about these, omg.
#invincible chatter#oh you have no idea how many times already I've wondered if I have already reblogged something#and thus have just created another split in the river xD#itll prolly happen someday
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yet another attempt by the Bracken to play basketball (masketball)
#lethal company#lethal company masked#lethal company bracken#there is a part 1 to this#my boy is fuckin ballin (badly)#trust me that masked is not having a good time
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wanted to show you my rainbowglider kid so far! just a WIP âşď¸
Holy crap! Alternate universe siblings!!
This is Caustic Phantom, but everyone they know calls them tommy :3
#art#digital art#mlp#not art#oc#asks#mlp oc#mlp ng#mlp next gen#thank you thank you for showing me!! i love seeing other peoples ngs especially when we share ships and especially when we share rarepairs!!#pls tell me your kid's lore id love to hear it#tommy is a professional boxer who is incredibly competitive and takes their job seriously but is also very serious about good sportsmanship#they have called off fights before because their opponent was being a jerk and they couldn't trust themself not to start fighting in anger#they also make sure to separate their work life from their private life and that goes into their costume#bc the mask makes their star look like just a blaze and thats kind of their most distinctive feature#this was the first time ive drawn them in like a year i think their hair is meant to be more pastel woops#id in alt text#at least for my drawing#idk how to ad alt text to asks :(
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Because of that drawing actually I wanted to share my operator and drifter with you guys so here I'm handing them to you
#warframe posting#warframe sona#uhm.. see I do have a mask for my operator but ... it's not the greatest#it sucks though because its the saturn six mask that I had to kill a boss I think 87 times or so to get so it took me forever </33#I could use my drifter mask on the operator but.. It simply doesn't fit the vibe for me#2 different lightings because the lighting w people is a little iffy sometimes compared to shots of the warframes themselves#speaking of actually !! I have a good amount of captura shots of my warframes ifff anyone would like to see them :3#< said by a man who has a super big fucking special interest in it#you guys should obviously know this though if you've seen my blog for like two minutes#I'll try and make an operator loadout though w the saturn six mask though trust
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i think. i might be the best boyfriend ever. i fear
#i have never been so serious#i used to be a walking red flag because i'm emotionally repressed and have an avoidant attachment style#and both of those things are still true#but the difference is now i don't act cold and distant and run away when i feel things#i mean like i DO but not all the time and not on purpose anymore#and it's like i'm not in a position yet to be free of certain insecurities#but i no longer act as if they aren't there#i just mask them by projecting all of my shortcomings onto being nice to the other person#it's like i never had anyone to trust or feel safe around so i will just make sure you trust me and feel safe around me#i will buy you everything you have ever wanted and do anything you want because i am loyal like that#i can't make people loyal to me i can't make them care in the exact same way that i do#but i CAN give someone else that energy so that they feel good#and guess what it's actually rewarding. because other people like when you do that#who knew#(let me bite anyone who wrongs you. let me wait on you when you are tired. PLEASE)
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good grief i have really gotten myself into a tizzy this evening. guy who post cancelled i can't even put it into words. horse ebooks everything happens to much <- not even big things happening i'm just autism styling (bad) my life today
#who would like to beam the perfect oversized/boxy cotton short sleeved shirt into my consciousness and solve one of my problems <3#things i'm stressed about:#family gathering tomorrow with young kids (high possibility that they'll be sick) and noone masks except me -> I can leave though.#someone borrowing my car aka worrying that i'll get sick if they're sick and i drive it but i don't wanna wear a mask in my car#-> literally just wear a mask it's fine. also i'll probably get it back with time to air it before i drive it#don't have nice things to wear so i don't feel good and it's hard to find anything -> well i'll just have to look. no good fix for this one#just gotta do it.#too late and i've fixated on stuff instead of chilling -> can't wind back time babey you made your bed unforch!#just one of those days where everything feels like so much! and it's all surmountable i just dont want to surmount it. i want it to be nice#in the first place :P ALAS! THE REAL WORLD!#you knowwww it is past 9pm that's 'don't trust how you feel about your life' time for real!!!!
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This is technically a Diana's age poll but I framed it partially around Julia's rescue because that's the event I need to contextualize and whether or not Diana is a thing yet is p important for my purposes. I would keep the PĂŠrez run and postcrisis continuity in mind when answering this bc that's when this is relevant but I'd keep in mind that even though Diana is very young there (like early 20s) we don't know I don't think if she ages differently as a child (esp as a themysciran AND being made from clay) and in some versions she is older than she looks and was made earlier
Edit: I accidentally logic-ed this out in the tags lol đ¤Śââď¸but feel free to still vote however you want. Going to publish this anyway bc I think I made some good points later in my tags
#blah#the 45 years is a guesstimation of julias age w her being in her late 40s#bc she has a middle school aged daughter which would make you lean a bit younger but shes also highly respected prof at harvard (is she the#dept head? i think so. and has a career that would suggest older. and shes also drawn middle aged so đ¤ˇââď¸#i would say late 40s early 50s for her honestly. but i moved it down a lil bit bc of vanessas age#wait shit i may have contradicted logic here bc wasnt the diana trevor stuff supposed to have happened before dianas birth. and that was#wwii. which would be btwn 42 and 45 years. BC PĂREZ!TREVOR IS OLD I FORGOT THAT#okay so actually there still could be a question of what happened first the timeline would just be much shorter#but then wouldnt julias family be boating during wwii? that makes no sense#im definitely thinkimg too hard about this probably. logically it would make the most sense if diana was like 20smth in reality. but thats#its own basket of worms honestly. like what do you mean hippolyta only had like 20 yrs w her daughter out of a lifespan of thousands of#years. what do you MEAN she became champion and ambassador so young like#like also thats the point though. she had to wear a mask in the challenge for a reason. her inexperience with men is what makes her the kind#of ambassador they need. and her youth and relation to hippolyta and role as the baby of the amazons is one of the things that makes her#ambassadorship SO important is bc she fulfills that role in an ancient sense. where it would be a sign of great trust and respect to send#someone close to the crown as an envoy bc it shows you mean business and arent going to reneg on whatever the deal is. bc if you do they#shoot the messenger#god anyways i very much answered my own question here in the tags like 100%. esp in regards to the pĂŠrez canon bc he very much laid this out#and i was trying to weasel my way out of it. only that didnt work and the decisions he made he made for a reason and they have huge#narrative importance. damn. okay then#i always write the shittiest posts and the best tags and then have to keep the post to keep the tags#i rlly need to make these tags posts ugh. anyways keeping this up bc of my tags abt diana and ambassadorship#also sidenote I LOVE HIPPOLYTA#just though id mention that. i love how much shes motivated by love and i also love when she makes fucked up decisions bc of that and has to#live with them. woman of all time FOR REALS#god this is making me want to reread historia again lol bc its the one ww comic i own. also its fire. and hippolyta gets to make shitty#decisions motivated by emotion and live w the consequences. and the comic is actually good unlike when that happened in the messner-loebs#run. which was the other instance of that ive read rlly. 10000% sure there are others but i havent fully gotten there yet.#i mean ive read other comics where she makes painful decisions thats like her whole deal but there are different vibes to those than the two#i mentioned. like the exile thing in ww year 1 or rlly anytime she has to send diana away
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Istg I actually need to sit down and write a proper bio for Riku because even I get confused af as to what his personality is sometimes.
#oc tag#âbut prince he's your oc how tf did this happenâ he has a mind of his own trust me#i mean this is literally one of the parts of his character he is literally so good at adapting his personality#because he felt he needed to as a kid both in school and in the business world#that barely anyone knows what he's actually like#like one minute he's a suave overconfident guy who can take on anything#but hes also the quiet dude in class who never participates is probably asleep but somehow gets everything right and is top of the grade#he loves to flirt but will absolutely blue screen if anyone flirts back because despite the fact he flaunts himself-#he doesn't think hes attractive LMAO#his biggest motivation is spite and he doesn't know when to quit#this boy has so many fucking issues istg#def one of those characters who has so many masks that he hardly knows himself#i have a fear that he's nearly too complex to the point where he's a confusing character and i personally dont think thats a good thing#so i really hope that's not the case for you guys đŹ#over my break ive really spent time trying to iron out his character and just make him into soemthing im even more proud of you know#the good thing is that at least his story now has a clear arc and theme which im really proud of#so im gonna use that to build off and iron him out even more#the way i put more work into this funky dude i came up with than like my entire uni work#i love him so much sorry to be mentally ill about a guy i made because i liked a ship too much (and crossover i was having fun with too)#one day i will have a proper post for him with references and everything for him his outfits his personas the lot#one of these days
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Can my brain shut up about being anxious about covid long enough for me to go sleep. Why aren't the minecraft story mode as vines videos helping
#*sees a good post talking about masking and staying home when ill* :D *2 seconds later* oh god no one else does this and the last time#i wore a mask everyone went mad and the school will kill me whenever i have the audacity to go off sick#we dont know all the long term effects and i don't want to become ill for the rest of my life or put my parents at risk#this started at like almost midnight#its now half 2#i want to sleep đ#'trust your gut' my gut is telling me I'm going to die and kill everyone i love#... wait actually writing this down has got me thinking. is this a compulsion. mmm. okay yeah i think reframing has helped#i am letting it pass through me đ like the solar thing in the mario 64 speedrun#okay bye guys#kitty screams#vent
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whining hours . sry
#like idk i try to like. imagine a future where i have like. friends. you know. Bare mimimum i have People i talk to. who arent lamp. and i#just cant imagine it happening again#like. i genuinely feel like i cant connect to ppl anymore and idk how id like. i dont see a way for me to do that ever again since i cant g#to school and like. sny job im able to get wouldnt be the kind where i like. meet people or make friends. and last year when i eent out wit#the express purpose of Making friends i literally couldnt. speak to anyone. like i just sat alone with my headphones on until it was time t#go home ... i dont know how to like. initiate casual conversation#+ like. i worry i get way too invested in any potential friendships bc i want so badly to be Normal and have friends and then i freak out#rly badly over something trivial. and thats entirely my fault like I need to work on not letting my freakouts effect the person im freaking#out abt. yk. like its my stupid brain that just gets rly rly overly defensive and weird abt everything its not like. I need to work on that#and thats another reason i dont knowif ill ever be able to make friends again is bc i genuinely dont trust myself not to get overly attache#way too quickly and then explode or something. idk#i also think maybe im just not meant to have actual lasting relationships with anybody ever. yk. like maybe im not meant to ever have roots#and maybe i just wont ever get to have stability and my life will always be entirely transient. Perhaps thats for the best so that i dont#have t like. lose ppl. and ppl dont have to deal with me#+ if i make bad decisions there r less ppl to care abt it. you know. which is a plus. idk#theres like. some parts of me r like desperate for friends and for love and to just . feel like i exist and Talk to people and like. have#stability. and then the rest r like No this is good bc we cant hurt as many ppl like this and also we dont deserve any of that so this is#for the best. and i just have to sit here like ok ! bc if i seek out friendships that part shuts it all down and if i dont the other part#makes me feel miserable and lonely. like damn i am destined for misery. but whatever. it doesnt rly matter DHRNFJFN im just being whiny#it just feels like i need like. ok this is my abdicating responsibility and is the reason i dont have friends disclaimer. i know that. very#aware. but i like. i need somebody to be the one to reach out to Me bc i like. i cant reach out to ppl like. i cant Try to initiate#conversations . but i think if there was a person who like. initiated conversations w me and started a friendship with me i like. i think#itd help me get used to Having a friend again and then id like. id be better at maintaining it and eventually id be able to pick up th#weight. but Obviously nobody wants to like. put in all that effort for somebody whos incapable of returning the favor possibly ever. yk#i need to just bite the bullet and humiliate myself and reach out even if its embarassing and even if it makes me have to throw up#<- happened one time when i tried to talk to someone new. which is so. oh my god. there r ppl who have avtual fucking issues and then im#just like boohoo i tried to think abt a conversation starter and got so anxious i fucking threw up. GOD. i hateit i hate it i hate it. but#wtvr. ik i cant actually expect that from anybody basically like. ik its a stupid wish. idk. i just wish i had somebody who could help me#like. remember how to mask and how to socialize Like a real person. and wouldnt mind that im like. weird right now. and would be willing to#talk to me until i got normal and stuff. wtvr. idk ... 10000 lashings
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